You can’t optimise for both experiences, it’s certainly possible for one person to ride a two seater bicycle but you’ll struggle with the extra mass and everyone will think you’re a twat who didn’t notice their spouse fall off. Alarm bells were already ringing ‘cos the game was selling itself as a four player coop shooter that’s just as good played solo, which as I’ve discussed in the past, has never once been true. You know what says something is that even forcing me to register and log into a Bethesda account I have no other use for like a deluded Los Angeles waiter including their headshot with a casting director’s restaurant bill, was only the spun sugar decoration on top of the dogshit croquembouche that awaited.

Because Arkane were probably hoping that the initial kicking was over and that they were free to focus on avoiding eye contact with everyone for six months or so until we all forget about this, but no, I haven’t forgotten. Y’know, I usually regret the fact that my reviews come out after everyone else’s, but on occasions like these I can see the advantage. There is a saying in the creative industries: “You are only as good as the last thing you did.” And therefore, with the release of Redfall, Arkane, the developers of Dishonored, Deathloop and Prey 2016, are a bunch of incompetent timewasters who have as much business making games as a walrus has assembling a LEGO Death Star. We have a merch store as well! Visit the store for ZP merch.

The escapist two download